Wednesday, December 31
Statute of limitations: there should be a law that if a newspaper publishes that you're fucking John McCain, and it turns out that's not true, you have ten minutes to file a lawsuit. You're given the ten minutes so you can stop. screaming.
Ten months? WTF?
Image found here but apparently it's from Bartcop.
Tuesday, December 30
I sort of expected some technorati-based acknowledgement of my small traffic to frequent writing ratio, but this...so this...kinda blows me out of the water.
(Go Driftglass for best individual blogger and Jon Swift for best humor blog. Just sayin').
Monday, December 29
"Have you guys ever thought about writing for, like, a woman’s magazine or something?" she asked them. "I thought you were the crack political team."
Of course, now she'll have to make it up to "women's" magazines:
Oh nevermind making it up to the women's mags, Mrs. Schlossberg. Every title on the magazine cover is for real. Yes, "The Trick that Attracts Hot Guys Like Crazy" is right there with "How to Outsmart a Date Rapist."
Don't get me started about "Your Orgasm Face: What He's Thinking When He Sees It." If I had to worry about such things, Cosmo, I wouldn't be in bed with him AT ALL, let alone enjoying it. Tremendously. As I said, don't get me started.
On topic: There's some terrific poetry, "Life Lessons I Learned From Popular Woman's Magazines" posted here. Don't miss it.
Salon tonight. Surrounded by post-Christmas clutter (and the kids who produced same) so no video blog today.
BTW I haven't said anything about the Rick Warren thing yet. Citizens who feel this is worse than a smack in the face to the Left and the Gay community are justified. [Update: As usual Susie Bright doesn't sugarcoat it and is not necessarily safe for work.] I'm with the guy in the Frank Rich oped: it's time for Warren to “recant his previous statements about gays and lesbians, and start acting like a Christian.”
I don't feel bad for us Lefties, though, having heard enough wide-brush "all religion is equally bad" blogger crap in the past four years to know Obama couldn't please some of them unless he dispensed with prayer altogether (ain't gonna happen).
I'm sad that Rick f-ing Warren is the issue, rather than respect for all humanity.
Isn't it interesting how we're not talking about Reverend Wright anymore?
Sunday, December 28
Nevermind. If she doesn't refer to what is happening in Gaza as a quote, "war crime," I'm going to assume she's still guzzling the AIPAC kool-aid. I hope rather than expect someone to ask her about this at confirmation time.
UPDATE: Okay. I wasn't going to go with the graphic above, which came to me several hours ago when I wrote the original post. But as I made it, I realized...wow, I'll probably be able to re-use this graphic a lot in the next few years. Fucker.
Friday, December 26
Thursday, December 25
Today as we celebrate the birth of a dirt-poor infant conceived out of wedlock (ha) I hope to take time to be quiet, calm, and grateful.
I also want to recommend this post. I really liked it, Quaker as it is but also speaking to what so many of us are thinking today.
Have a wonderful Christmas Day.
Wednesday, December 24
Merry Christmas everyone. I'm as busy as you are, probably, but still keeping my ear to the ground to see if Bush is going to pardon anyone today. The below is a post from an earlier Christmas. Have a wonderful day.
I made three batches of cookies yesterday which would not be necessarily bloggable, except I sang lefty ballads (rather than holiday carols) while mixing and measuring. Here are my recommendations for cookie recipes and their musical accompaniments:
Jiffy Mix Sugar Cookies, with two teaspoons almond extract and one cup dried cranberries mixed in...Billy Bragg, Accident Waiting to Happen.
Duncan Hines Chocolate Chip cookie mix, made with real butter and another cup of dried cranberries mixed in....Pete Seeger, Little Boxes.
Once-a-year pain-in-the-ass date balls (not a sex toy.) Nine Inch Nails, Head like a Hole.
Honestly, those date rolled in sugar things are delicious, especially with strong coffee, BUT.
Tuesday, December 23
This coming February marks the 200th birthday of Abraham Lincoln. Kind of a big deal in Illinois. We don't need no crooks on the dais, if ya know what I mean. (What is it about Blago that makes me and everyone else write like we're mobsters?)
The three magic words that get more done faster than any other at the state and local level, my friends: "Bad for tourism."
What we Illinois Democrats would really like is for some FOX Noos Wise Guys to, ya know, doo what dey doo with Mister L's party affiliation:
And while yer at it, couldja make Blago a Republican?
On topic, I think calling this administration Lincoln 2.0 is presumptuous, arrogant, foolhardy and yes, dangerous.
Monday, December 22
Sunday, December 21
I love this comment thread, not only because the people in it are smart and lively but they're also honest. And I want to address directly those who feel a twinge of guilt when their eyes roll back as they hear the word "feminism."
That's alright. It's taken me a while to come to grips with what feminism means to me. I'm working on it, because I think it's worth working on.
Feminism means very different things to different people. I can only speak for myself. Ma hunnies, I've been abused, overlooked, put down, touched inappropriately, pushed, underpaid, and attacked simply because of my gender.
But with all of that I don't believe that the world is an evil place where I have to fight all the time to make it better. I can laugh a lot, love a lot, work hard, eat, kiss, knit, read and with all of that make the world better.
Oh, and I can write.
There are some times when you just have to fight. I get that. Trust me, I get it that "being good" does not always win the battle. I've admitted big defeat in that arena. Sometimes you have to be bad and you have to kick ass and you have to get out. I get that.
The reason I respond more often with resilience than anger has much to do with having a mother and father who listened to me. They treated my opinions with respect, so as I grew up and some jerk groped me, I knew I was of value and didn't have to put up with that. It took a lot longer when I had to abandon dreams of being a so-called good wife in order to endorse my inherent value, but I did that too.
Power is the right to say no to what you don't want, and yes to what you do. And to be treated with respect regardless of your own personal choice, provided that choice does not harm others.
Recently I've discovered the world of "sex-positive feminism." In the seventies this world was about telling off Andrea Dworkin, all sex is NOT rape and all porn is not anti-women, etc. I think sex-positive feminism has become a little less about that and a little more about enjoying one's sexuality, even if that means you are not exerting but rather surrendering power in doing so. It still amazes me that feminists who will march in the streets (justifiably) to allow two men or two women to marry each other, point with horror at certain other sexual deviances which are clearly consensual, and cry rape or warn that they're triggering or even misogynistic.
Extreme case here, but what if you are a woman who enjoys tying up other women, and find women who enjoy being tied up? Those were the original sex-positive feminists. They said, "Wait a minute, you think we leather dykes are, ahem, endorsing patriarchy? Somehow we're collaborating with the subjugation of women? And we're not invited to your "real" feminist colloquium on pornography as a human rights violation because we like photography? Pardon our French, but fuque vous."
One friend said it's like complaining about driving. The car ahead of you is always going too slow and the car behind you is too fast. If you sit in judgment against everyone, then the only person driving the correct speed is you. So all of what is right and wrong sexually is what YOU PERSONALLY can handle in terms of your own judgmental comfort level.
But wait a minute, Blue Gal, I thought this post was going to be about feminism, and you're making it a post about sex!
My point exactly. And to seal the deal, I have a little "Women's Studies in Popular Culture" class exercise for anyone who thinks I'm off the mark.
Listen to the song below, and then deconstruct Mary J. Blige by writing an essay based on one of the following options (choose only one, turn in your bluebooks via the comment thread below):
A. Convince us that because she sings this song, Mary J. Blige is not a good feminist.
B. (Advanced feminist critics only) Write a porno script that incorporates Mary J. Blige and her drummer. Make it good.
And besides, at least in this part of the Great Midwest, it's gonna be 51 degrees on Friday.
I've been sucked into the Facebook vortex, clearly another landing pad on the way to full identity disclosure. Facebook is, I have to admit, an amazing app, and what gets me about Facebook is how it uses the term "friends" so loosely. I hardly know some of my "friends" and they hardly know me.
I was about to say "I'm not much of a networker" but then I thought how my actual real friends would react to that statement. They'd laugh their heads off.
And anyone who is a knitter or a small blogger (or especially both) is automatically a friend. There is instant connectivity with those who share a common passion.
Anyone have any Facebook stories or advice to share?
Saturday, December 20
Friday, December 19
1. Joe Lieberman: Playstation or towel?
2. Try to find all the hidden shooter bottles or just leave 'em.
3. Whether to tell Pickles about the election results.
While he's working out which of the Big Three SUV's will be waitin' for him when he gets to his white suburban Dallas retirement mansion, the President Elect is helping automotively in the only way anyone in Illinois cares about right now:
from that bicycle site. If you haven't been there before you just keep clicking.
Thursday, December 18
This is an article about raising children, grief, loss, growing, living, you know, the stuff many of us live with all day.
And one sentence jumped out at me: the advice from the dead woman's Filipino nanny. I post it as a jpeg because I'm also posting it above my desk:
For some, this is a time of sad Christmas memories, the review of a tough year, or fear of a tough year ahead. At times like this I'm very glad to be reminded to quietly, humbly, put my finger to my lips and count my blessings.
**Hey New Yorker! You think only your paper subscribers are going to read you online? Please.
Wednesday, December 17
I just love it when a brand new reader and first-time, anonymous, non-blogging commenter tells me they "won't be back" in part because I and my writing lack compassion.
Since she won't be back, this is an open thread for laughing at said commenter's geeky clothes behind her back. I agree, I think she probably does sleep in that PETA t-shirt.
And I'm posting the "Pamela Anderson pole dancing" version because I hear Pamela also sleeps in a PETA t-shirt, or nothing at all. Sisterhood is powerful!
We'll return to compassionate blogging tomorrow.
Above is a scan of the actual ticket distributed door-to-door by a local CHURCH. The thought of taking my children to a nightmare-inducing anti-Semitic horror flick for the holidays? Are they serving fetus-shaped cookies and sammiches after?
Also, I won't be going to the Oprah Magazine's "She's fat again" soiree. Oprah, here's the deal: I don't care what you weigh or how you got there. Your weight loss triumphs and failures are, at long last, simply boring. Be yourself, eat the cake or don't. Whatever.
If you are so fucking shallow that you are going have black people at your party as a fashion accessory, please indicate that on the invite, so I can stay home. That is, unless Oprah is bringing dessert. Then I'll be right over.
Tuesday, December 16
Apparently, I gotta post it here, too. ha. Reminds me of the time my dad sent me some of his artwork, and I posted it at a much bigger blog than mine.
Dad: "Did you get my picture?"
Me: Yeah Dad, did you get lots of hits? I posted it to the big blog.
Dad: Oh, but you didn't post it to YOUR blog?
Monday, December 15
It's a good thing I never closed my Cafepress store, because a reader in the comment thread re my new header requested a "homegrown sexual Jihadist" shirt.
The "vituperative, foul-mouthed blogger of the Left" shirts are still there, too. I'd forgotten.
But the cute! teddy bear seemed tailor-made for the Jihadist thing.
I'd say "just in time for the holidays" but I kinda doubt it, unless you're willing to pay a lot for shipping. Keep those ideas coming in!
Dear Cap'n Dyke, Lesbian Ruler of the Piratical Seas:
I were thinkin' on ye, Cap'n, this morning, as I read the blogs and discovered what is possibly the lamest article ever written at Huffington Post. I know, Cap'n, that be an astonishin' claim, but you will consider the evidence:
The "lady" writin' this, whose name be Alex Leo, sayeth that when models in advertisements appear as pirates, that is an example of "rape" being used in advertising to subjugate women.
And, well Cap'n, I hope you are sittin' down for this one...
...the same anti-women subjugation happens when advertisers portray bondage and girl-on-girl action.
I know I am just your blogmistress (and not a lesbian though I be a pirate raisin' my children t' be the same) and should probably keep my business above deck, but if you'll harbor a suggestion, I suggest you and some of your fine crew take Miss Leo (I be presumin' she is single, and who wouldn't?) below decks where the ropes and other piratical girl-on-girl paraphrenalia be, and show her a really good time away from cameras and advertising and fake feminist outrage.
And once she's had twenty or thirty bits o' fun, a warm bath and a long nap, turn her loose and she won't want to leave and you'll allow her to stay, provided she promise she won't write silly stuff like that ever again.
And while I be makin' suggestions, Cap'n? I be givin' a hat tip to Jade Gate on this one, his blog be not safe for work, but he is a master of the ropes, a true gentleman who only acts on explicit consent from women, and would be an asset to any Pirate Ship.
Love, your blogmistress, BG
PS folks too friggin cold to do a video blog my cheeks are beet red from getting the ice chipped off of my car, which took...blah blah blah. Salon tonight, though.
Sunday, December 14
I want to say thanks to the magnificent cyber stud Manila Ryce, who designed the cartoon BG. She's being replaced by a photo of the real thing, which won't be nearly as attractive.
Thanks for the love that went into that image, Manila. I understand shading the tits took forever.
And Manila? My offer of a free sidebar ad for your lovely blog stands. xo
Saturday, December 13
Friday, December 12
As my readers know, I have a rule that "no one is wearing the panties I post" here at this blog.
Bettie Page is an exception, as she was exceptional, always.
Rest in peace.
Photo from The Bettie Page.
Thursday, December 11
There's a new blog in town, allegedly written by some f2f friends of mine. The Fluffington Post. I'm asking them right here and now if they'll let me guest post from time to time. They're on the LINE now, like these panties....
P.J. O'Rourke on Disneyland's new House of Tomorrow [The Atlantic]:
“Countertops will be able to identify groceries set on them and make menu suggestions.” At our house, that would mean the strip of Formica between the sink and the stove piping up in a computer-generated snivel, “I hate broccoli. Meatloaf again?” Probably the fridge would chime in, “Well, if you don’t like meatloaf, make your own damn dinner.” And this is assuming that the kitchen doesn’t have IT problems that cause the countertop to go, “Macaroniandcheesemacaroniandcheesemacaroniandcheese …” [my son] Buster already does that.
There are some bloggers out there who, despite the imminent takeover by a very competent, unfunny administration, are on a frickin' roll. Zaius is one of them.
Wednesday, December 10
Unilever thinks you may have questions about how to handle personal hygiene, as my mother used to say, "down there." No, they don't. They think they've figured out a way to charge $5.49 for a shower puff that costs them a dollar to make seven of them.
But I first found out about this at Drugstore.com, which says:
2 Sided Cleansing
Scrub Side | Lather Side
When girls check out guys, they notice every part. They don't miss a thing. Neither does the New Axe Detailer.
Get the right levels of clean for all your parts. The Detailer is designed to work with Axe Shower Gel to keep every part of you ready for action.
Use the scrub side to dig into your extra dirty spots or tough parts (hands, elbows, feet, etc.) Use the soft mesh side to build gentle lather on more "sensitive" areas... because every part matters.
Made in China***
***Well, OF COURSE it is.
I thought Norman Mailer said that "a girl is a car." But it's turning out that your jock area is a car, in need of "detailing."
And what is this "checking out" thing that the advertisers say we "girls" are doing to you "guys"? If I believed the marketing geniuses at Unilever, a blind date would resemble the Axe Detailer Ad I'd like to see:
And yes, it depresses me no end that my attempt at satire actually looks like something the Budweiser ad team would put together, only more professional.
Tuesday, December 9
...And I love an excuse to run a little Was (Not Was). h/t Datacine for the band name correction.
Prog blogs being namby pamby about this because he's a Democrat need to stop it. No one hates Blogo as much as the Democratic machine in Illinois does. He's really a terrible governor. Never played team politics and was not invited to the Dem Convention.
I repeat. He was NOT INVITED to the Dem Convention. The Democratic Governor of Obama's home state. Not. Invited.
He was shoved under the bus by one of his own staff. The timing is to prevent him from appointing Obama's successor, because he was selling Obama's seat in the Senate to the highest bidder.
Since I moved to Illinois I have routinely heard Democrats wish for Blogo's defeat in the next election. I think it would he hard to piss off your own party that much in such a Blue State.
And selling Obama's Senate seat takes the cake. As if no one was watching him. You have to give him credit for being a genuine idiot, it is impossible to fake that.
Monday, December 8
Sunday, December 7
Saturday, December 6
1. Five names you go by:
Baby (certain specific people)
2. Three things you are wearing right now:
Panties? Oh I think you know.
3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
to put my foot up.
4. Three people who will probably fill this out:
Not the same people who buy organic pancake batter in a reddi whip spray can. Bet.
5. Two things you did last night:
put up the Christmas tree
6. Two things you ate today:
Breakfast with Santa (really)
a candy cane from my son's goodie bag he got from Santa. (Junior Dude definitely on Mom's 'nice' list for now.)
7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a blog buddy
the pediatrician's office, re well-child appointments
8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
9. Two longest car rides:
Birmingham to Minneapolis
Chicago to Springfield, IL in windy snow.
10. Two of your favorite beverages:
Grand Marnier on the rocks
And finally, my favorite part: a clip from [one of] my favorite movie[s]-
given I can recite the entire movie, Hitchcock's Notorious:
Curse of the boyfriend sweater? Ya think?
Friday, December 5
I tried this morning to grab it so I could post it as a youtoob but it took too long. If any faithful reader could send it to me as a avi file (bluegalsblog, gmail, etc) you'll win the BG Happy Panties award that I just made up.
In the meantime, click the image above or the link here to see some Frank Zappa lyrics blessing some poncho movie goodness....
Thursday, December 4
And we thought Obama celebrity hype was over. This is apparently the concert of the season, my friends. And to think I didn't drive to St. Louis last August because I thought Dave Matthews Band was gonna be too crowded.
I gotta give them credit for having an "OBAMA" rate, which is actually good for the entire month. Good marketing to teh Google set.
By the way, I have a useful task for the NSA domestic spy machine: they should collect the names of anyone buying Mangroomer's "Essential Do-It-Yourself Electric Backshaver" and cancel their stimulus checks.
I was not compensated in any way for bringing these products and services to your attention, dammit.
Wednesday, December 3
But you'll have to click the image to go see it. I was afraid the embed code might melt my laptop. They decorated the flowers in his white carnation boutonniere and her bouquet to look Hello Kitty! too.
h/t Tacky Weddings, of course. Even though the last time I linked them I was accused of being a slut shamer.
Hello, Kitty. Are those genuine Swarovski crystals on your choker?
Tuesday, December 2
What he said:
why do I have this uneasy feeling?
Hillary Clinton, Robert Gates, Eric Holder, Rahm Emanuel, Larry Summers ...
Competence is clearly trumping ideology in the next administration, and lord knows after two terms of Bush & Co. it’s time to get back to the idea of smart, capable people advising the president and executing his policies.
What I wonder is whether the members of this team, in addition to their grasp of the issues and success at achieving power, have a real feel for the needs of the people they are supposed to be representing.
I don’t doubt that they have the best of intentions. But the people at the pinnacle of power in Washington are encased in a bubble that makes it extremely hard to hear the voices of those who aren’t already powerful themselves.
And then he goes off on a "Washington insiders are too insular to care about poor people" riff, which is Herbert's job over at the NYT.
There are lots of editorials to be written about how government can better serve the underclass. And Herbert has written them. But this editorial was about something else, something less important perhaps, but it irks me that, like a cook bored with cooking, Herbert decided to cover his delicate salad with a jar of 'concern for the poor' gravy and be done with it.
The delicate salad is the "competence trumping ideology" meme regarding Obama's choices for his cabinet. And that they are Washington insiders, which brings competence but also insularity. And with insularity comes, yes, a lack of concern for those outside the beltway.
But that is where the blogosphere comes in.
I owe a great debt to Bob Herbert and his lost-in-the-middle editorial, because in a few words he's given us progressive bloggers a map to where we need to be. I giggle out loud at bloggers who are outraged that, gasp, Obama turns out to be a Washington insider himself.
Here we are, left-wing activists with a small podium, decidedly and by choice outside both Washington and the
Please. Here you are, reading one of the tiniest blogs by a woman who considers herself the queen of the indy bloggers, and I'm linking to NYT and Kos today, Before I go over to the way big video borg blog (love them) to post something else.
Herbert missed the boat by playing the poor people card. Again, editorials about helping poor people are what he does very well, and we'll sure need more of them in the next little, well, forever. But this editorial was really about politics: the fact that Obama has the best of all possible political worlds in which to make life better for all of us. His support staff inside the White House are, well, insiders. There, competence, which is code for "insider knows who's who in DC and how to work it," trumps ideology. And his posse on the outside, not nearly so disciplined but face it, still on his side, is ideological to a fault and without apology. They're also the most technologically astute and interconnected bunch the world has ever known.
My job as one small blogger is to keep the faith, to make sure that progressive ideology (you know, like, "Washington insiders should not forget the underclass", that kinda shit) does not get lost in all the "competence" with which Obama has surrounded himself. If Bob Herbert can stay on message, he can help.
Lauren Slater's essay in the Sunday NY Times made me sad and angry at the same time. The author is a woman who has had both cancer and depression and makes the case that her dislike for sex is not pathological, it's just the way she is. Her story is told in that "Modern Love" column self-awareness prose that makes Oprah say "love that!"
I keep wondering what the public reaction would be if a man wrote the same article. I doubt he would be published. It's acceptable for a woman to reject the sex act as somehow beneath her, as Slater herself admits, "I have better things to do," but a man apparently doesn't have better things to do, ever.
And sadly, it's perfectly okay for women to not enjoy sex, too. A man who found he couldn't or wouldn't perform would be judged as having something wrong, and handed a bucket of little blue pills to "fix" him, wouldn't he?
She felt it necessary to lie that she was recovering from being raped in order to delay her introduction to sexual activity? But she's not pathological? Wow. I just told men I was a virgin and wanted to stay that way. Worked for me until I decided it didn't, which was in my later '20s. Am I the pathological one, then?
I don't feel any particular urge (heh) to fix Lauren Slater, though if I were her husband, her act of celebrating her non-pathological aversion to my sexual touch in the pages of the New York Frackin' Times, would be grounds for divorce.
No one, male or female, HAS to enjoy sex. And the public message that we all have to be sexy and sexual (yes, particularly women) in order to be of value, is a curse we can't seem to undo.
But I feel sorry for Lauren. Bit of an understatement that sex with someone you love and who loves you is really really fun.
Monday, December 1
On the very day I kill Hello, Kitty! I take a peek at my hit counter ...Coincidence?
I was thinking I might get to 500 K by the start of the year, just as a kind of game, but I think not. It's not ever been about the hits (except this post, ha) and anyway, I hear blogging is dead now (double ha).
This is what I look like after trying several times to get my laptop to quiet down enough to do a video blog. I'm off to get some compressed air to clean/quiet the fan, and probably a USB microphone. Sigh.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My day was nice and my weekend lovely.
Off topic: I went to the Clinton inaugural in 1993 and wound up going back to a friend's house in Virginia to watch it on the teevee. It was a nice day, but very crowded and reserved seats only along the parade route. People's Inaugural my ass. Eleanor Holmes Norton is right. DC should make sure there are indoor venues for the hoardes of tourists to watch this historic event, particularly since it's, ahem, January.
Salon tonight. Zappadan starts Thursday. There's a promo video in the post below, and I'm working on a bollywood Zappadan video for the holiday.
Sunday, November 30
Friday, November 28
For those of you new to Blue Gal or who forgot, The Don't Sugarcoat It Award is for individual bloggers who write a post showing gifted prose and a flair for direct, frank, and occasionally, but not necessarily, obscene discourse.
I award these prizes when I find them, and you can't submit posts for consideration. It's a surprise to all of us that way.
Today's award goes to the beautifully-named blog Übermilf, for her lovely Thanksgiving-themed post, "Dear Fucking Assholes Who Write Gravy Recipes."
Not only is the post Don't Sugarcoat It worthy, I totally identify with her aversion to cooking organ meat.
And although Übermilf is writing about a bit of a turkey gravy crisis, you may be relieved to know that in a subsequent post, we find that at least two women in her holiday household were eventually drunk enough on martinis to make adequate gravy. That's exactly how it should be.
As is usual with Don't Sugarcoat It's, leave all comments over there. Thanks.
[Ubermilf is from Chicagoland, and has inquired about a midwest blogger meetup in 2009. If you're interested, let me know. I'm thinking spring break or early summer, and I'll organize it. bluegalsblog AT gmail]
And remember, trials are proofs of God's care.
"It will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." - Anonymous
All of my family members who have been sick or in the hospital had some good news this week. Our family has lots to be grateful for this year.
Thursday, November 27
Has anyone else seen these horrendous turkey cakes in their shopping excursions? What would possess anyone to make something like that?
I've so much to be grateful for this year. We all do. And I'm grateful for a day that is a reminder to pause and be grateful.
I hope all of you have a day full of love and gratitude.
Wednesday, November 26
We had quite a debate among the team members of the bigger blog yesterday. Some said it's anti-egalitarian to resist calling the President of the United States by his first name. I call bs on that.
I'm trying to get as much mileage out of the tag below before I retire it forever, I hope. But notice it doesn't say "George is such a goddamn fuckwad."
Tuesday, November 25
A. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what Jonah Goldberg proposes we do."
B. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what Monica Crowley's thoughts are on the subject."
C. "The economy is so complex and problematic. I wonder what ideas Glenn Beck has come up with."
My vote is with B. It makes me wanna die laughing.
Frank Zappa died December 4, and was born (earlier, they tell me) on December 21.
Two years ago, the blog known as The Aristocrats declared that December 4 through 21 should henceforth be known as Zappadan: the days of the year between death and birth, that ethereal time when there was no Frank, so we must celebrate him to keep his spirit safe until his birthday again.
Or it's just a great excuse for a party that has nothing to do with the greed and debt festival known as Christmas in America. In any event, it's a labor of love with the hope that Frank would be proud.
"Some people say" that the Miracles of Zappadan stuff is a buncha hooey, but I disagree. During the first Zappadan in 2006, John Bolton resigned. Then last year, Sandy Underpants went to the registry of motor vehicles during Zappadan and got a new license plate with no lines, no waiting, and free donuts.
You can make a contribution by posting something about Frank or writing something up and sending it to the Aristocrats. You will be compensated for your effort with linky love, or a post to call your own at the Aristocrats.
Details here. Thanks.
Monday, November 24
I am permanently and forever late for church.
And that stress is relatively minor. At some point soon I'm going to have to find a job. And then if one of the kids gets sick at school, God help me.
I'm a single mother and my story is common and tiresome, even to me. But during the past week or so a new refrain has accompanied the common stressors:
Hey, at least I never dropped them off in Nebraska.
The horrible parenting tragedies happened before the Nebraska Legislature cauterized a wound and forgot to bandage it with a 30-day old age limit. Before this past week, a silly loophole in a backwater state legislature (the last in the nation to pass a bill requiring hospitals to accept abandoned newborns no questions asked) allowed any parent of any minor to drop off their child in like manner.
The thirty-six walking, talking children who were abandoned in Nebraska as a result are a small fraction of those whose desperate parents didn't have the guts or the gas to make the trip. Two mothers drove over a thousand miles to find a place of safety for their teenagers. As this morning's Wall Street Journal law blog points out: "Many parents were using the Safe Haven law only as a last-case scenario, after exhausting every other avenue to help their deeply troubled children."
My heart especially goes out to the adoptive mother, Melyssa Cowburn, whose son was abandoned to her care by a meth addict birth mother in a big box store. "Could you watch him while I pick up some diapers" and she never returned. The emotionally disturbed child would be beyond the care of any one person.
The boy has broken Cowburn's nose, cut her forehead with a snow brush and left deep bruises from biting her calf. He has put a kitten inside an oven and blinded the family's parrot.
Cowburn cannot physically control the boy, who already weighs 63 pounds. Both she and her husband are about 5-foot-6 and slender. He kicks holes in walls. He urinated on the neighbor's dog and threw canned food off the balcony. ...[He] set fire to the shower curtain one day, then flooded the apartment the next, clogging the sinks and toilets.
She flew him to Nebraska.
The Nebraska Legislature's oversight, which was "corrected" on Saturday, is probably a blessing. It brought to light bigger holes in our nation's so-called safety net (kids at risk for gang membership in some states can't get services until they commit a crime?) and reminded others of the existence, still of Boy's Town and Big Brothers programs.
And of course this issue ties in with abortion and reproduction and who should be parents. It's not that some kids would be better off not born, or that some pro-lifers care more about the fetus than any actual child. It's the disconnect, the complete disconnect, that being born is tantamount to anyone's quality of life.
The wonderful New Yorker article Red Sex/Blue Sex (do go read the whole thing) points out how the GOP convention saw Bristol Palin's pregnancy not only as forgiveable, but a non-issue, since unmarried, unexpected teen pregnancy had happened in the family/church/social circle of every single delegate there. Abstinence? In Red State Nation you attach shame to sex and a kobosh on contraception but as long as there is no abortion, and, I suppose, the baby is baptized, Jesus and "society" are content.
And when the baptized baby is emotionally disturbed and later attempts to murder his sibling, there's always Nebraska. Or there was until Saturday.
An aside: the majority of babies born in the United States today are brought into this world via Medicaid. That's a hole in the insurance system and the job benefits system and the economy that is not over when the federal insurance coverage ends after birth. And don't get me started about the so-called "controversy" of whether Medicaid should pay for contraception.
It's high time we begin to handle the issue of quality of life for children. We have an administration soon that, we can hope, gets it. (I wish to God Hillary Clinton could have been Secretary of HHS rather than State. Talk about a "pit bull with lipstick" on behalf of children, no one has done more, and American kids still need that fierce advocacy.) I certainly hope Michelle Obama steps up to the plate. "Quality of Life for Children" has a nice post-Rovian ring to it. I hope I'm not sucking the emotional moisture out of this issue to say, demography is destiny. If we don't begin to cherish parenthood and make protecting children of every age a priority...
But no one is going to make parenting easier. We parents will deal with the stress of rejected red dresses on a Sunday morning, and everything, everything, that is more important than that, in the life of our children. Without some solid national priorities behind us, though, our country's future may as well be dropped off at the proverbial ER in Nebraska.
No video blog today. Salon tonight, see you then. - BG
Sunday, November 23
Just some anonymous person. Not even anyone you even know. Trust me.
1. No. I don't care how far you go to make your girlfriend look like a guy. If she's a GIRLfriend, and you are not doing it with any men whatsoever, then you are not bisexual. Ahem, "accoutrements" to your girlfriend do not count as actual male anatomy, ever, no matter where she puts them. Okay, no linky, I've already said too much.
2. No. You don't get to sue McDonald's because some employee downloaded the naked pictures of your wife from the cellphone you left there by accident. You act as though no one has ever seen what your wife's got. On the internet. On a cellphone pic.
Wait. You had to MOVE because naked pictures of your wife are on the internet? If you live in Utah, maybe. But you're Phillip Sherman and his wife, Tina, and you live in Arkansas. It's all over Yahoo News. Give it up, dude.
3. If making your eye look like this requires ten shades of eyeshadow from a product line that includes twenty different numbered brushes just for eyes...
...if, when you are given a school assignment to write about what you enjoy, and the first thing that comes to mind is, makeup....
...if, when you write about eyeshadow, you use "getting married to it" as your chosen metaphor...
you have a fetish. Not judging you here. This is definitely a "hey, whatever turns you on" blog. But it's a fetish, and you might find, I dunno, chandelier bondage* to be less equipment-focused. Just make sure your mascara is waterproof.
*Yes, my google search hits were getting kinda skimpy.
Saturday, November 22
Friday, November 21
Thank you very much, Left in Aboite and ex-lion tamer.
Tagging me for a meme is a bridge to nowhere. As a rule I follow the guidelines of Omnipotent Poobah's Anti-Tagging League.
I don't do memes for the same reason, I suppose, that I don't blog about what Digby said.*
It could be great, valuable, wonderful, etc., but other people are doing it, so I can do something else.
*Yeah, I just did blog What Digby Said. Just this once.
Thursday, November 20
It's a start... [Reuters]:
Five of six Algerians must be released after nearly seven years of captivity at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, a federal judge ruled on Thursday in a setback for the Bush administration.Why do I suspect the U.S. Government never intended to show evidence in these cases? That the source of any supposed evidence could not be admitted in court?
U.S. District Judge Richard Leon ruled from the bench after holding the first hearings under a landmark Supreme Court ruling in June that gave Guantanamo prisoners the legal right to challenge their continued confinement.
U.S. President-elect Barack Obama has promised to close the prison camp after he takes office in January. Meanwhile, U.S. judges in Washington are moving ahead with case-by-case reviews of about 200 detainee legal challenges.
Reading his ruling as the detainees listened in Guantanamo via a telephone hookup, Leon said the U.S. government failed to show the five detainees who had been living in Bosnia had planned to travel to Afghanistan to fight against U.S. forces.
This administration can't end soon enough.
Because a bonafide douchebag was able to hire one. From Smoking Gun, h/t a much-loved reader and commenter:
Claiming that he has been unfairly branded a "douchebag" in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags," a Las Vegas man has filed a libel lawsuit against the volume's author and publisher.
Trust me, honey, HCwDB had you at "Las Vegas club promoter." And now your name is connected to the word "douchebag" on the internet.
As my regular readers know, Hot Chicks with Douchebags is one of my favorite places to laugh my guts out. The writing there is self-effacing, hilarious, and actually far kinder than the title would indicate.
And now with the lawsuit, Mister Douchebag1, you've arrived!
Tuesday, November 18
The bone is healed, the cast is off. I'm taking little baby steps around the house getting used to being on my own two feet again.
Thanks for all the support and good wishes. You guys are the best.
And by the way, if you have any more bloggy support to give in the form of Paypal cash, it's not my turn.
It's Shakespeare's Sister's turn.
Help if you can, and thanks.
Photos of past AG's from here, running the gamut from pinkish beige to cream, mostly.
Congratulations, Mister Holder. Being AG is the same as commenting on a blog, rule number one, "don't be an asshole." Gonzales and Mukasey kinda failed there. Gonzales was actually a complete fucking asshole. And he gets no points off for being unusually non-white.
We've heard rumors that our new AG-elect doesn't like the Patriot Act. That would be a good place to START.